Basically i want to know if i can kill lxpanel on raspberry pi zero to reduce ram usage. (i access it via ssh, not the display) or if it has something required by os.
The GUI desktop is not a requirement. Ideally you should disable it from starting up:
sudo systemctl set-default multi-user.target
This should work, although I have not tried it on Raspbian for a while and seem to recall that it might have been used for the GUI when systemd was first adopted. Hopefully it is not that way anymore.
Anyway, reboot and (if you have a screen plugged in), you will have a text login instead of the GUI screen. If you don't, you'll notice no GUI apps are running when you ssh in.
To put it back the other way:
sudo systemctl set-default graphical.target
Or to start the GUI after logging in:
sudo systemctl isolate graphical.target
This will probably seem rebootish in the sense that most things will be re-started, there will be some messages, it may take a few seconds, etc.